Warm-Up 3

Warm-Up 3 is all about turning informal, spoken language into formal, written language. The prompt is the kind of thing a health-and-safety officer might say when she's on a site visit, but the written version of her recommendations will use different grammatical structures and different words … because it's written and formal, not spoken and informal.

Remember that you've only got FIVE sentences to produce - you don't need to write the entire report.

The podcast relating to this task and Send-In 3 will be published in a minute too.

Feedback on Warm-Up 2

I've just finished marking the Warm-Up 2 tasks and here's some general feedback (if you've submitted the Warm-Up, but not received feedback, let me know and I'll see what's happened; if you've not submitted yet, it's not too late!).

Firstly, nearly everyone worked out that the best way to get your money back is to be calm, dispassionate and factual. It's tempting to let off steam, but the only practical effect of that (in a letter of complaint) is to make things take longer! The recipient of this letter probably just wants to get rid of you by paying you off (the sums involved are tiny), so she probably wants to avoid bad publicity, more than anything else. On the other hand, she's not going to admit anything that might end up costing the company mega-bucks in a court case!

There were one or two cases where the letter came across as much too informal too. You're trying to impress on the company that they're dealing with a professional - someone who's angry at the moment, but could easily be placated by the insertion of money into her bank account! You need to be strictly formal in this letter, so using 'get', short forms or friendly closures like 'Best regards,' aren't a good idea.

Here are some specific points about language which cropped up in Warm-Up 2:

1. Defining and non-defining relative clauses

Sorry to get all technical on you!

Relative clauses often start with 'which' or 'that', and there are some of them that provide information essential to your reader's understanding of what you're talking about ('defining relative clauses') and some which add a little extra information, but aren't strictly necessary for your reader to understand the basic message ('non-defining relative clauses'), like these ones:

Defining relative clause:

He gave her the password which opened her computer account.

(I.e. out of all the passwords in the world, this one was the special one which did the job.)

Non-defining relative clause

She used the password to open her account, which meant that she was able to answer her new boss' mail on time.

(I.e. using the password is one thing - answering the mail is another.)

Did you notice the punctuation?

Non-defining relative clauses use a comma, defining relative clauses don't.

What this comma does is shows your reader what connections you're making between information in your sentence. There are cases where getting this connection wrong can make it extremely difficult for your reader to understand what you're saying.

In the defining relative clause example above, for example, putting a comma in says that the password somehow opened the account all on its own, without her needing to do anything. You can imagine other sets of instructions where this might really confuse someone. Let's say they have to carry out two operations. Making what you need to carry out the first one use a non-defining relative clause could easily make someone imagine that they don't need to do anything else, like this:

Take the key, which opens the security lock, and fetch the file from the filing cabinet inside the file room.

(Non-defining relative clause … so it's 'extra', unimportant information … so the person fetching the file could well end up standing outside the room with a key in his hand, not realising that he has to use it to get into the room!)

Take the key which opens the security lock and fetch the file from the filing cabinet inside the file room.

(Defining relative clause - it's much more clear what the person has do now, isn't it.)

This may seem to be terribly unimportant, but remember that famous Swedish example:

Avrätta ej vänta!

(Execute - not - wait)

Is that 'Avrätta ej, vänta!' (Don't execute [him], wait!) or 'Avrätta, ej vänta!' (Execute [him], don't wait!)?

2. In/on/at

Prepositions often cause problems - it's usually more or less impossible to explain why you use one, not another. In this case though …

When you're talking about time and place,

IN is for the big things (in Sweden/in 2012)

ON is for the middle-sized things (on Main Street/on Monday)

AT is for specific points (at the corner of Main Street and Lexington/at 3.00 pm).

Here's a diagram which could help:

3. Simple and Continuous Verb Tenses

Look at these two sentences:

A. The car broke down as I drove into New York.

B. The car broke down as I was driving into New York.

Which one is right?

Well … it all depends what message you're trying to convey! 

(A) is probably the best alternative in this particular context, because writing "drove" indicates that this is a situation which is finished and in the past.  What (B) conveys is the process and length of time the driving was taking. It provides a much more vivid picture of the problem you had … which is great when you're telling your friends over a cup of coffee or a drink what a traumatic time you had in New York, after you get home, but it introduces an element of emotive language which you're probably better avoiding in this letter.

Take these three possible witness statements about a bank robbery:

i) As I got out of my car, a man was coming out of the bank with a gun in his hand.

ii) As I was getting out of my car, a man came out of the bank with a gun in his hand.

iii) As I was getting out of my car, a man was coming out of the bank with a gun in his hand.

Experienced detectives often develop an instinct about which statement is most reliable, and this instinct is often based on grammar! Which one would you trust most?

Witness (i) saw the leaving of his or her car is a 'finished' action in the past, whilst the man coming out of the bank was something that he or she saw as an action which took time.

Witness (ii) saw the situation the other way: he or she was concentrating harder on getting out of the car, whilst the man with gun was a passing or fleeting experience.

Witness (iii) divided his or her attention between the two.

A detective would probably rely most on Witness (i)'s description of what the robber looked like, how he was dressed and which way he went. The detective probably wouldn't be able to say why she felt that … but a student of English grammar could supply some reasons for it!

4. Colons and Semi-Colons (again!)

Here's the general rule:

Colons split sentences into two unequal parts, whilst semi-colons split them into two or more equal parts.

Thus, everything that comes to the right of a colon is an example - or a consequence - of what comes to the left, like this:

There were several issues with the car: the lack of cleaning, the lack of washer fluid and the fact that it broke down on the freeway.

The national anthem of the UK is "God Save the Queen"; the one of the US is "The Star-Spangled Banner".

Sometimes colons are used to introduce lists with complex items in it, with semi-colons separating the items, like this:

The latest upgrade by Apple includes the iWork suite free of charge: Pages, which is the equivalent of Microsoft Word; Numbers, which is a substitute for Excel; and Keynote which is much more versatile replacement for PowerPoint.

Warm-Up 2

Warm-Up 2 is all about complaining. 'The Hire Car from Hell' is all about really bad treatment when renting a car in the USA. The idea for this Warm-Up came from the wonderful film,"Trains, Planes and Automobiles", with Steve Martin and John Candy. The task is set up so that you don't have any other option than to write a well-composed letter to the company in the USA - and hope for the best. The sum of money involved is too small to make it worth your while starting a legal action (at least from this side of the Atlantic - it'd be different if you were living in the USA, where they have Small Claims Courts). There's also a lot of scope for 'he said-she said' situations (which is how they describe situations where one person says one thing, and the other person says something different in American English).

The task itself is quite limited: you only have to write FIVE sentences from the letter you'd write (i.e. NOT the entire letter). The point is to see whether you can calibrate your language, so that you express yourself firmly, but refrain from insults and gratuitous comments that will just result in your letter being filed in the trash can! Once again, there's a link to the Send-In Task which comes next.

By the way, if you want to see what the practical problems of using language that's too strong are (and of letting emotion get in the way of your complaint), take a look at this scene from the film:

http://youtu.be/DsrXZ_Mdehw

Be warned, though. This scene is famous for the large numbers of times the word 'fuck' is used in a very short space of time!

You submit your Warm-Up Task 2 by copying your text into a comment. Remember to include FIVE sentences only - and to include your name in the submission.

By the way, if you don't know what the 'redeye' is, take a look at the first comment on this post.

General Feedback on Warm-Up 1

I think I've now finished marking Warm-Up 1 (if you've submitted it, but not received any feedback yet, please get in touch and I'll find out what's happened to it). You did a really good job writing personal presentations, with nearly everyone remembering 'features and benefits'.

This is a concept which pops up all the time in the world of business, and it's a concept from the field of sales and marketing. It's not enough to say "I have a Bachelor's degree in Marketing" - you have to also demonstrate why this is is going to be of benefit to your new company.

There were one or two problems which appeared in several of the Warm-Ups, so here's a more extensive explanation of what went wrong, why it was wrong and how to put it right.


1. 'Girl'

Unfortunately, the world of business in many English-speaking countries is still quite sexist. A 'girl' in English is usually a female less than 12 years of age, or, in the world of business, a woman whose job it is to provide services like making the coffee! 'Young lady' is what I sometimes say to tease my 8 year-old daughter … so my suggestion is just to call yourself a 'woman'. You're going to have to be a bit more hard-nosed than you would have to be in Sweden anyway, so if I were a woman, I'd just tough it out! (This, incidentally, is connected with the practice of women calling themselves "Ms. Svensson", instead of "Miss Svensson" or "Mrs Svensson" - why should you let people define you according to your marital status?).


2. Capital Letters

There's an exercise about the main occasions when you need a capital letter on the initial letter of a word in Module 1. I recommend that you take a look at it! There are two specific cases which came up again and again as I was marking these Warm-Ups:

a. Job Titles

A 'sales assistant' is a generic job, involving taking the money when people want to buy things. A 'Sales Assistant' is someone whose job title it is. The first type of person could well work in a supermarket, whilst the second type might well have a responsible position in, say, a computer services company. There's been a kind of inflation in job titles over the last 30 years, so someone who describes themselves as a 'Service Manager' could be the head of department employing hundreds of people, or it could be a cleaner!

b. Academic and School Subjects

Look at these two examples:

"She remembered what she'd learned on her Psychology course at university, and used psychology on her boss to get a raise."

"She studied Economics at university, so she knew the economics of the proposal just weren't going to work.

The green words are academic subjects, whilst the red ones are the words used to describe the general area of knowledge, but in laymen's terms.


3. Colons and Semi-Colons

These are used to divide long sentences up, and they express a relationship between the different parts of the sentence. If you use a colon, you're saying that everything to the left of the colon is more important than everything to the right. The part on the left could be an expression of general principle, for example, whilst the part on the right would be a specific example of that principle. For example:

"The government announced a radical new policy: from now on alcoholic beverages would be sold in all the stores in Sweden."

Semi-colons, on the other hand, divide the sentence up into equally-weighted sections, where each section could almost be a sentence in its own right. For example:

"Swedish culture puts a heavy emphasis on security and safety; in the US people are encouraged to take risks, even though they might risk losing everything."

Take a look at this Dilbert cartoon to understand why you might need semi-colons in business documents:

4. Academic Titles

The main three awards you achieve from university study in the English-speaking world are:

Bachelor's Degree (usually after 3 years of full-time study)
Master's Degree (usually after an additional 1 or 2 years of full-time study)
Ph.D., sometimes called a 'doctorate' (the time it can take to achieve this qualification varies, but the standard in the English-speaking world is 3 additional years)

This is how I describe my Bachelor's Degree:

B.A. (Hons) (Warwick University)

If I want to describe what I've studied more informally, I might write:

"I have a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy and Politics from Warwick University."
(Note the 'in').

or

"I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in …"

A general rule is to use whatever form of words (in English) you'll find on your degree certificate. Unfortunately, there are university departments outside the English-speaking world who've made up their own titles in English - it's best to stick to the form of words it says on the certificate, even if it's wrong!

Here's my full academic title:

David Richardson, B.A. (Hons) (Warwick), PGCE (Goldsmiths), DipRSATEFL, Esq.

The 'Hons', by the way, means 'Honours', which indicates a more advanced type of final grade, and the 'Esq,' is short for 'Esquire' which replaces 'Mr' when you're really showing off how clever you are! At some point I received a letter from the institutions involved granting me permission to use these specific abbreviations after my name.


5. Colloquial Language

This means 'the language you speak, rather than the language you write'. You might say, "Give me my money back!" but you'd write "I would like you to reimburse me" in a formal letter. Everyone knows, for example, that 'buck' means 'US dollar', but it doesn't say 'buck' on your contract of employment.

You'll find that various common words are too colloquial for formal English: 'get' is one of them. The problem with 'get' is that it's too vague: do you mean 'get' as 'obtain', 'get' as 'receive' or 'get' as 'become', for example?


6. Company is or Company are?

'Company' is a collective noun in English, and all those nouns can be seen in two different ways: either as describing a unit, or as describing a collection of individuals. Thus, when a company acts as a legal entity, you write:

"The company is considering expanding into China."

But when you see the company as a collection of individuals, you write:

"The whole company are going away to a holiday resort for a week, as a reward for excellent work last year."


7. 'Natur'

Now here's one for the Swedes! 'Nature' is not a good translation of 'natur'. Culturally, the English-speaking world sees the natural world as something that's 'other' or 'alien', whilst Swedish culture sees it as something you take part in and are part of. Thus 'natur' might be 'countryside' or 'scenery', 'the open air' or 'the great outdoors'! 'Nature' usually describes some psychological trait, like "She had a very nice nature".


8. … and finally one particularly for the Eastern Europeans and Far Easterners, but perhaps Swedes need it too!

Nouns in English are broadly divided into 'count nouns' (which describe specific instances of something or individual objects) and 'uncount nouns' (which describe general phenomena). Thus 'chair' is a count noun, whilst 'rice' is an uncount noun.

Count nouns have to have what's called a determiner in front of them in the singular. This is a word like  'a', 'the', 'my', 'this' … and there are quite a few more. However, they don't have to have one in the plural.

Thus,

"I haven't got chair in my room"

is definitely wrong (should be "… a chair …"), whilst

"Go and see if there are chairs we could borrow" is quite OK.

Uncount nouns can be written without determiners:

"Rice is a natural and healthy foodstuff"

… and they don't have plurals, so the question never arises! However, they're never written with 'a' or 'an'!

Just to complicate matters, there are plenty of words in English which can be count or uncount, depending on the context in which they're used. Here's one which appeared many times in the Warm-Ups: 'experience'.

Look at these two examples:

"My experience in China will be of great help to the company."

(Here you're talking about your experience of China in general, not any specific occurrence.)

"My experiences in China taught me a lot about Chinese culture."

(Here you're talking about specific things that happened to you in China, which told you something about their culture.)